So…You’re A Loser, eh?
The Gang’s All Here And They’re Telling You That You Suck
You must feel like a real loser right now. Like, a big, fat, LA-HOO-ZA-HER. The kind of loser who hasn’t shown a shred of discipline in over twenty years—not in your eating habits (see: the number on the scale) or your spending (see: the sad state of your bank account). But hey, at least you’re consistent, right? You’ve mastered the art of consistently doing the wrong thing. Bravo.
Seriously, though, what happened to you? You used to be fearless, audacious even. You were the kind of person who would jump on a train to the wild west just because the idea of chasing freedom sounded romantic. You joined the military without a second thought because you wanted to be the best. You lived boldly, made decisions with conviction, and didn’t care what anyone thought.
But now? Now you can’t make a single decision without inviting over the gang: Overthink, Self-Loathing, Second-Guessing, Paralysis Analysis, and good ol’ Shame. They’re like your emotionally destructive entourage. Forget conquering the world—you’re just trying to conquer your fear of checking your email.
Remember when you thought you could quit your job and pursue your dream? Hilarious. Who do you think you are, some kind of visionary? What made you so special? Was it the fact that you believed you were “chosen” or “enlightened?” Enlightened by what? The dark comedy that is your bank balance?
Because let’s be honest: the “level-headed majority” told you this would happen. They warned you not to deviate from the Matrix, to stick with the safe, conformist path where you clock in, clock out, and watch the days blur into one monotonous blur of mediocrity. They tried to explain that venturing off on your own was a mistake. But you didn’t listen. Oh no. You just had to believe you were different, special, above it all.
And now look at you—paralyzed in the corner like a terrified toddler, watching your savings evaporate faster than your dreams.
But that’s not even the most tragic part. No, the real kicker is the audacity you’ve displayed in thinking you could build relationships and an empire while shunning everything that kept you chained to the hamster wheel of failure. For years, you went to work, collected a paycheck, and paid bills, not because you loved it, but because it was what you were supposed to do. And now that you’ve finally had a chance to chase your dream—what do you do? You freeze. You second-guess yourself into oblivion. You question everything except the one thing you should be questioning: Why did you ever think you could make this work?
You must feel like an idiot.
I mean, who cares if this is the farthest you’ve ever come before? Patterns don’t lie, and your pattern is running back to the nearest job the moment things get uncomfortable. Let’s face it: You’re not an entrepreneur. You don’t have what it takes to stay uncomfortable for long stretches of time. Do you even like people? Why would you want to help them if it weren’t for the money? And the idea of reaching out to them? That feels downright disingenuous.
You’ve always been more of a “create things and hope people find you” type. The idea of chasing people around all day to sell them something they can’t even sit on their bookcase? That’s not you. But you thought you’d give it a try, because why not bet everything on a whim? You’ve been reckless before; what’s another bad decision?
Except now, here you are, right where everyone said you’d end up: stuck. Second-guessing. Broke, probably. Oh, and with a massive side of guilt for putting your family through this rollercoaster of delusion and arrogance.
So, what’s the moral of this little comedy of errors? Should we just conclude that you’ve been an arrogant, self-entitled, cotton-headed ninny-muggins all along? Well, maybe. But here’s the thing: It doesn’t have to end there. See, the one thing that’s been your downfall—your stubborn belief that you’re different—could actually be your saving grace.
Yeah, you’ve messed up. Yeah, you’ve made arrogant decisions. But if you’re going to keep insisting you’re special, maybe it’s time to own that. The lesson isn’t to quit. It’s to stop being a chicken. You’ve spent too long paralyzed in fear, afraid that your next decision will be the wrong one. And guess what? It might be. But standing still is the only guaranteed way to fail.
Remember that fearlessness you had when you were younger? The audacity to jump on trains and join the military without hesitation? That wasn’t youthful ignorance—that was your real self. The version of you who knew how to take risks and survive. It’s not too late to bring that version of you back.
So here’s your full-circle moment: You may have spent the last twenty years on the hamster wheel of failure, but the only way to truly be a loser is to stop trying. You haven’t lost yet. You’re still in the game. And if you’re going to insist on being different, special, and enlightened, then start acting like it.
In other words, don’t be a loser.
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